And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
