You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
