You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
