Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
