TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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