god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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