I'd wear matching sweaters with you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
