The maid of honor just puked.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
