so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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