i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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