Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.

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(208): View more from Idaho

My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed

Fav 11 2467 1660
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(860): View more from Connecticut

you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.

Fav 7 1386 2698
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

Fav 15 935 1812
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.

Fav 2 1506 661
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(707): View more from California

I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.

Fav 3 683 887
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(408): View more from California

Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?

Fav 3 557 853
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(604): View more from British Columbia

he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax

Fav 2 41 101
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(573): View more from Missouri

We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.

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