the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
