Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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