Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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