How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
