Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
