So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
