Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
is it fun? or sober?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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