Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize