belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
