Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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