I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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