So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize