I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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