Whoa Z and x make the same sound
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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