grandma shit on top of the toilet
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize