if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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