I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
