How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
