Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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