So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
