Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
