Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
