You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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