We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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