And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
