Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
