he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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