bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
