so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need a beard to bite.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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