i just made my gag reflex go away.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
