I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
