so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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