The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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