I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
