walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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