Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
