I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
