you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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