so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize