We won't sleep together?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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