just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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