Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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