so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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