when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize