my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
