Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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