Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
