My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
