Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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