I'm lost and stupid without you.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
