I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
