absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
