I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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