A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
